cold is relative

  • 60 degrees californians turn on the heat. People in Cleveland plant gardens.
  • 50 degrees california residents shiver uncontrollably. People in Cleveland sunbathe.
  • 40 degrees Italian cars won’t start. People in Cleveland drive with the windows down.
  • 32 degrees Distilled water freezes. Cleveland water gets thicker.
  •  20 degrees colorado  people wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Cleveland throw on a T-shirt.
  • -10 degrees arizona begins to evacuate the state. People in Cleveland go swimming.
  •  0 degrees landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Cleveland have a last bbq before it gets cold.
  • -10 degrees People in utah cease to exist. People in Cleveland lick flagpoles.
  •  -20 degrees people fly away to South Pacific islands. People in Cleveland throw on a light jacket.
  • -40 degrees  Darwin disintegrates. People in Cleveland rent videos.
  • -50 degrees Mt. washington freezes. Cleveland Girl scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
  • -72 degrees Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Penguins leave Antarctica. Cleveland boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it gets cold enough.
  • -100 degrees Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Cleveland put on a coat.
  • -173 degrees Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Cleveland get frustrated when they can’t thaw their kegs.
  • -298 degrees Microbial life start to disappear. Cleveland cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
  • -459 degrees ALL atomic motion stops. People in Cleveland start saying “Cold ’nuff for ya?”
  • -500 degrees Hell freezes over. Cleveland wins the super bowl 
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