you might be from ohio if…

  1. You think Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!  
  2. You’ve heard of 3.2% beer. 
  3.  Schools close for the state basketball tournament. Deer season, too. 
  4. You’re proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point. 
  5. You know all the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and orange barrels. 
  6. You live less than 30 miles from some college or university. 
  7. You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones. 
  8. “Toward the lake” means “north” and “toward the river” means “south.” 
  9. You’ve heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot. 
  10. You know if other Ohioians are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths. 
  11. You root for a college team though you’ve never taken a class there. 
  12. You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, and Tuscarawas *(Wapakoneta?) and you know which letter is doubled in “Cincinnati.” 
  13. You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer. 
  14. You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes. 
  15. You know what game they’re playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers. 
  16. “Vacation” means spending a day at Cedar Point or King’s Island. 
  17. You measure distance in minutes. 
  18. .Down south to you means Kentucky. 
  19. Your school classes were canceled because of cold. 
  20. Your school classes were canceled because of heat. 
  21. You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour each way. 
  22. You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day. 
  23. You know what’s knee-high by the Fourth of July. 
  24. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: “Where’s my coat at?” 
  25. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 
  26. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows. 
  27. You carry jumper cables in your car. 
  28. You drink pop. 
  29. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 
  30. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 
  31. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie. 
  32. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports. 
  33. You think that deer season is a national holiday. 
  34. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. 
  35. You thought that the Michael Stanley Band was the most popular band in the country. 
  36. You actually understand these jokes 

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